THE ULTIMATE HANDBOOK TO REMAIN SAD
The "Symphony of Sorrow" in Five Movements:
Movement I: The Dissonance of Dreams
1.
Procrastination's Lullaby: Let your ambitions
simmer on a back burner, forever just out of reach. Tomorrow holds the promise
of action, a promise perpetually unfulfilled.
2.
The Cynic's Chorus: Surround yourself with negativity. Seek
advice from those who have embraced a life of melancholy. Their wisdom will be
a constant reminder of limitations and the futility of hope.
3.
The Broken Record: Drown out your own desires with the opinions of others. Let
their judgments become your internal soundtrack, a never-ending loop of
self-doubt.
Movement II: The Dirge of Duality
4.
The Guilt Trip Tango: Choose a partner who specializes in emotional
manipulation. Their disapproval will be your constant companion, a guilt-ridden
weight holding you down.
5.
The Blame Game Gavotte: Circumstances are always to blame. Embrace
a victim mentality, a solemn dance where you point fingers but never take responsibility.
Movement III: The Lament of Lethargy
6.
The Comfort of Complacency: Shun discomfort like a
plague. Seek the solace of the couch, a haven of inertia where motivation goes
to die.
7.
The Mediocrity Minuet: Accepting mediocrity is the key. Lower
your standards for yourself and others, creating a symphony of blandness.
Movement IV: The Rondo of Regret
8.
Broken Promises: Scatter promises like confetti, ensuring none are ever kept.
Let a trail of unfulfilled commitments pave the road to regret.
9.
The Waiting Waltz: Wait for the perfect moment, a mythical time that never
arrives. Stagnation is your partner in this slow, agonizing dance.
10.
The Envy Etude: Focus on the possessions of others, fostering a burning
resentment that consumes your spirit.
Movement V: The Cacophony of Collapse
11.
The Martyr's March: Embrace self-destruction. Sacrifice your
well-being for fleeting pleasures, a march towards inevitable ruin.
12.
The Forgetfulness Fugue: Let the good times fade from memory. Dwell
on past failures, a constant reminder of your shortcomings.
Remember, this symphony is entirely self-conducted. The power to
choose joy, however, lies just beyond the final note.
